Realize.

"And that's the problem with people who mean everything they say. They think everyone else does too." 

-K. Hoesini

Do you ever have those days that are going great, you're happy, the sun is shining, and it's just generally wonderful and then suddenly one little thing happens. Not even unexpected, but it just hits you hard and sends you spiraling? It really makes you think, and gets you emotional. I've had a few of those lately but tonight was definitely the worst.

It's been a variety of things all surrounding the concept of friends.

I'm friends with a lot of different people, and I'm there for them no matter what. Drunk, brokenhearted, sick as a dog. No judgement or anger. They know it, and appreciate the fact.

However, I'm finding now that the tables are turned, many of them have run for the hills, aside from a small group. They're ignore me, or pointedly avoid me. And it sucks. It hurts a lot....and I guess that means there's going to have to be some change....or maybe some learning. Because nothing I feel or they do will ever make me care about them less, but I can't keep expecting different from them and spiraling when I don't get it.

I'm not really sure where I'm going with this right now or why I felt the need to share it, but I did. So I am. There's going to be a lot of thinking done, and it's probably a good thing that I've got spring break to really separate from everything and everyone to really think and clear my head.